Crush it Cole
by StoriesAreMagic
Summary: When Cole, a character from the arcade game 'Fix it Jay Junior', tires of being the villain, he'll go on an epic journey through game worlds. With the unexpected help of four other characters, he's out to prove that even if he's the 'bad guy', doesn't mean he's a bad guy. Wreck it Ralph AU! Full summary inside. Had to turn the cover image on its side to get the full view.
1. TrailerPrologue

**Hey, StoriesAreMagic here with some important information. I didn't steal this story from Daydreamlife, I adopted it. The first four chapters are mostly hers with minimum editing. I might be moving this in the crossover section, I don't know. Happy reading!**

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Closing time at Wu's Family Fun Center is a pretty lengthy process. The old man gently shoos the groaning kids out, washes the counter, picks up stray change, vacuums, inventories the snack stand and the cash register, dusts and fixes the machines, pulls down the blinds, locks the door, and finally heads home.

Then all is quiet. All is still.

Until whoever is at the screen at the time on Dance Dance Ninjago (the closest game to the door) calls out the "All clear!" That's when the arcade comes to life and the video game characters are free to do as they please.

I'm one of them. My name's Crush it Cole from the game Fix it Jay Junior and for thirty long years I've been breaking buildings, wrecking windows, and generally crushing everything in my path. Whenever Little Mister Fix-it gets to the top of the apartment building I'm taking down, I get thrown off and land in the mud.

Game after game, mud. Hour after hour, mud. Day after day, mud. Week after week, month after month, year after year, I fall off a building and land in the mud. And that HURTS like brick.

You know, it's hard to love your job when no one else seems to even slightly like you for doing it. As Gene (the mayor of the Nicelanders, who really aren't that nice) once so helpfully put, I'm just the bad guy who wrecks the building.

If I'm being honest with myself, it would be nice to be the good guy for once. I just don't want to be the bad guy anymore. Anyone I tell that to says that I can't change who I am.

Well, too bad. Even if I can't change who I am, I sure can try.

COMING SOON...

"Cole abandoned his game. How do you not see how serious that is?" Fix it Jay Junior said desperately, staring up at the two red-clad figures.

"Like this." The male tapped a finger on his chin mock-thoughtfully. "Huh. That doesn't seem that serious."

The girl punched him in the side and he collapsed in a gasping heap. She smirked.

FROM DAYDREAMLIFE PRODUCTIONS...

"Welcome to Game Central Station," a cool, calculated voice echoed through the huge room. "Trains for all stations now boarding."

Cole bit into a big, juicy, bright red Pac Ninja cherry and kept walking, trying to ignore all the gasps that followed him and the characters who ran away.

"Everything changes now," he breathed.

HE'S EXPLORING NEW WORLDS...

"Where's the wrecking guy?" A gamer boy wondered, unhappily poking at the screen.

"Once again, fear is a four letter word here, ladies. If you're too chicken to face a CySnake, you're no Samurai," a stately woman dressed in red and brown armor instructed as she distributed ono axes and quivers full of arrows.

Cole, clad in his own dark metal, raised a hand. "What's a CySnake?"

"Shut up, Private Dareth, I'm not in the mood for your nonsense," the woman ordered, tossing a wicked-looking scythe at him with enough force to knock him over.

HE'S MEETING NEW FRIENDS...

"Um, hi, mister," a small white-blonde boy Cole hadn't seen the moment before piped up. Cole yelped and slid down the tree.

"You're not from here, are you?"

Cole frowned. "Sugar Rush? I'm in Sugar Rush?"

"You're game jumping?" The old king asked in horror.

HE'S GOT ONE CHANCE TO PLAY THE HERO...

"Without Cole, we're doomed!"

"They're gonna pull our plug!"

"Aaaah!"

"What's that?" The boy asked curiously.

"A metal. I won it in Samurai's Duty."

NOW...

Cole sighed, curling up in his bed of damaged bricks.

The samurai commander looked around fiercely, battle ready with a pair of long gleaming daggers. The second in command hefted a hachiwari sword in one hand and a katana in the other.

Racers in candy cars sped down the sugary road.

HERE'S A STORY FOR EVERYONE...

"Everyone here says I'm just a mistake," the young boy admitted somberly.

"You ready for this?" Cole asked.

Jay stared at the woman in awe. She snorted half-heartedly.

WHO EVER NEEDED A RESTART ON LIFE.

The trio zoomed down the tunnel on a hovercraft.

"I'm not leaving you here alone."

They shook on it.

The CySnakes reeled back and hissed.

Cole broke into the room Jay was stuck in and the small blue-suited man gasped.

The line of ghosts saluted.

Lasers sparked and fired.

"Let's close up with the bad guy affirmation. I am bad,"

Excited, Cole blew kisses to the crowd.

"and that's good."

Jay and his Nicelanders danced.

"I will never be good,"

Cole opened his mouth threateningly.

"and that's not bad."

Mystake inclined her head towards Cole and walked off.

"There's no one I would rather be then me."

WITH THE CAST OF NINJAGO...

"Why do I fix everything I touch!? Oh, I am so hooped."

"It's make-your-mommas proud time!"

"I love my momma!"

"I don't get it."

CRUSH-IT COLE.

"Just take it one game at a time."


	2. Nice Share

**Not much to say so... Happy Reading!**

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

Two updates in a week? I'm on a roll! I know none of you want to read a long AN, you just want the story! So I'll make this quick. Massive 'thank you's to ninja girl777, Guest, and firecrackerxx for your lovely reviews. Guest, I like your ideas but the characters are all planned out and will be revealed through out the course of the story. If you re-examine the prologue, you'll figure 'em out :D. Go on! Read, review, and ratify! (Wait, that's not how it goes...)

oOoOoOo

INSERT COIN

INSERT COIN

INSERT CO- Clink!

"Okay, so where do I start? Um, My name's Cole, Crush it Cole. And, I'm a Bad Guy. Let's see, I'm nine feet tall, weigh about six hundred forty-three pounds. I've got a bit of a temper, I guess. My emotions bubble pretty near to the surface.

"What else? I'm a crusher, as you probably could tell. I crush things professionally. I'm really good at it too. Best I know. If you want something smashed, bashed, or destroyed, I'm your man.

"The problem is, 'fixing' is the name of the game. Literally, figuratively, and metaphorically, all that. I mean, my game is actually called 'Fix it Jay Junior'. So obviously the guy named Fix it Jay Junior is the big hero and stuff.

"He's pretty nice as good guys go, I guess. Fixes stuff really well, definitely does his job. But when you inherit a magic hammer from your father, how hard can it be, really? I guarantee you that if he had a regular hammer, like the standard issue ones you get at a supply store, he would not be able to fix the kind of damage I do that quickly.

"My game goes kinda like this:

"I start out going to sleep inside the stump I call home. Bulldozers come and, uh, bulldoze the forest around me. My 'home' is pushed to the city dump and a big ol' apartment building is built in its place. A bunch of Nicelanders move in there immediately.

"I wake up then and say "Hey! You moved my stump!" So I run over to the building and yell my catchphrase "I'm gonna crush it!" Then I can start breaking windows, pouring down bricks, and basically destroying stuff.

"The key point is when I reach in one of the windows, pull out Gene (he's the mayor of the Nicelanders), and send him flying through the air. That's when the Nicelanders, who were apparently too scared/unconcerned about the building before then to talk, get to shout "Fix it, Jay!"

"Jay comes striding up in all his blue suited and hatted glory, happily tossing his hammer up and down. He starts off by cheering "I can fix it!" One of the lamest catchphrases ever if you ask me, which nobody ever does.

"Once Junior says his stupid catchphrase, he begins platforming up and down and around on the sides of the building. He's the playable character, so he moves wherever the player takes him. Sucker. He keeps repairing windows and stuff until Nicelander Mary opens a window and hands him a pie.

"The pies apparently have magical powers or something, because as soon as he eats it his hat flashes colors and becomes indestructible. Mister Fix-it can then fix windows like ten times faster and fixes them all before making it to the roof. Apparently that's what he was trying to do all along, because that takes control out of the player's hands and sends us into pre-planned scenes that make up the end of the game while big flashing letters say "You fixed it!".

"Whenever Bluejay does a good job and wins (which is almost always), he gets a kiss on the cheek, more pie, and (here's the bombshell) a medal to wrap up the game.

"When I do a good job of crushing stuff, the Nicelanders pick me up, toss me off the building, and I go tumbling through the air to crash into a puddle of mud many, many stories below. Because, are there medals for the sweet science of crushing stuff! To that, all I can say is ha! And no, there are not.

"It's not like I'm complaining. Well, it's a little like I'm complaining. But I get it. I been doing this long enough to know a steady arcade gig's nothing to sneeze at, especially at a great place like Wu's Family Fun Center.

"Seen a lotta games come and go. I mean, think about all those guys from Asteroids. Boom! Gone. Centipede? Pft, who knows where that guy is. Nah, I know I'm very lucky."

"It's just, after so many years, it becomes kind of hard to love your job when no one seems to like you for doing it. You know?"

"And hey, maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way if things were different after work. But as it is, Felix and the Nicelanders go hang out in their homes -which he's just fixed- and run away when I pass by."

"So I head off to the pile of building parts and garbage in the dump, where I live. You might call it a lonely cesspit of despair on the outskirts of humanity... Which would be pretty accurate. But I call it home."

"I guess I can't complain too much. After all, I got my bricks. I got my stump. It looks uncomfortable but it's actually fine. I'm all good."

"But, if I'm really honest with myself, I watch Jay up there through the windows of his apartment. He's always hanging up his medals, talking with the Nicelanders, getting pies and great food, acting like Captain Fancy. And sometimes I think..." Cole sighed.

"Man. It must be nice being the good guy."

Applause.


	3. BadAnon and the Trains

**Happy Reading!**

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Cole glanced up from studying his large hands to look around at the other 'villians' filling the room with applause. The BadAnon banner (One Game at a Time) fluttered slightly from the wind.

Across the circle of folding chairs, Clyde (one of the ghosts from Pac Ninja, Cole remembered him) spoke up sincerely. "Nice share, Cole. As fellow bad guys, we've all felt what you're feeling. And, we've come to terms with it."

Cole raised a bushy eyebrow skeptically. "Really!"

A large wrestler raised his hand eagerly. With a thick Russian accent, he said "Right here! I am Zangief, and I am Bad Guy."

"Hi, Zangief," the circle said somewhat cheerfully.

"Hi, Zangief," Cole echoed a second too late.

"I relate to you, Cole," Zangief continued. "When I hit bottom, I was crushing man's skull like sparrow's egg between thighs." He slapped his inner thigh enthusiastically.

Next to him, Bowser stirred his coffee and rolled his eyes. The other characters were a mix of rolling their eyes fondly, groaning, and mimicking his speech. Obviously they had heard this many times before.

"And I am wondering, why do you have to be so bad, Zangief? Why can't you be more like good guy?" Zangief paused and spread his hands, speaking almost reverently. "Then I have moment of clarity: If Zangief is good guy, who will crush man's skull like sparrow egg between thighs?" He slapped his thigh again and Cole nodded uncertainly.

"And I say, Zangief, you are Bad Guy. But-" Zangief waggled a finger in the air, "this does not mean you are bad guy."

Understanding claps and cheers.

Except from Cole. "Right, okay, yeah... You lost me there."

The decaying zombie on Cole's right stuck out his hands and grunted "Arrrh. Zombie. Bad Guy."

"Hi, Zombie," BadAnon chorused.

Once again, Cole echoed a "Hi, Zombie" a second too late.

"Zangief saying, labels not make you happy. Good... Bad..." Zombie groaned. "You must love you."

Cyborg (from Cyborg's Justice or something, Cole thought) grinned maniacally from his spot next to Zombie. "Yeah! In HERE!" He made a lunge for Zombie, presumably to rip out his heart and show it to the group, but Cole pushed him back.

"I think I know what you were going to do, and I get it, but that's really gross," Cole complained. Cyborg pouted.

"A question for you, Cole," Clyde said calmly, as if no one in the group had attempted to dismembered each other in the last ten seconds. "We've been asking you to BadAnon for years now, and tonight, you finally show up. Why is that?"

Cole shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know. I guess I just felt like coming."

Clyde waited patiently, seeing that there was more to it.

"I suppose it has something to do with the fact that, well," Cole shrugged again, "today is the 30th Anniversary of my game."

The devil next to Cole leaned over and congrafulated him solemnly. "Happy Anniversary, Cole."

"Thanks, Satan," Cole mumbled.

'Satan' winced. "It's Say-teen, actually."

"Got it. But here's the thing..." Cole sighed, fiddling with his fingers before blurting it out. "I don't want to be the bad guy anymore."

Horrified gasps as the other programmed villians tried to process that. Bowser did a spit take with his coffee, so balls of fire came spewing out. Clyde turned blue and went into his panic routine.

"You can't mess with the program, Cole," Cyborg warned.

Twirling a finger next to his head to indicate 'crazy', M. Bison asked "You're not going Garmadon, are you?"

"Garmadon?" Cole scoffed in shock. "No! I'm not going Garmadon. Is it Garmadon to want a friend, or a medal, or even just a piece of pie?"

He was standing now, angry. "Is it Garmadon to want more out of life?"

"Yeeeeessss," Zombie slurred.

"Cole, Cole, we get it," Clyde soothed. "But we can't change who we are. And the sooner you accept that, the better your life and your game will be."

"Hey, One Game at a Time, Cole," Zangief offered.

"Now, let's close out with the Bad Guy Affirmation," Clyde instructed.

The group of bad guys stood and joined hands, closing their eyes in near-reverence. As one they recited "I am bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Except for Cole. He stood with his eyes wide open and his mouth shut tight, not saying a thing.

"Okay gang, see you next week," Clyde broke the silence. The circle split up, bad guys trickling out the door and talking enthusiastically. Zangief grabbed a leftover donut. Bowser refilled his coffee before leaving.

'Say-teen' put an supporting hand on Cole's shoulder. "Hang in there, Cole."

"Hey Zombie, don't forget your hatchets," Clyde called. Zombie moaned and waved his hatchets around to show that no, he didn't forget his hatchets.

Cole quietly followed Zombie out of the Pac Ninja ghost pen where Bad Anon was held. But as the other villains exited to the trains, he hesitated. Quickly, he ran back through the tunnels and filched a pair of cherries before heading to the train cars.

Zangief patted the spot next to him encouragingly and Cole perched on the seat. Slowly at first, then quickly, the train chugged down the graffitied track of Pac Ninja's power cord to the arcade's power strip.

The 'villians' hopped out of the cart, ignoring those who ran away from them, and entered Game Central Station. Cole trailed along behind them, pausing still in the outlet to look around.

Characters bustled this way and that, talking excitedly. A voice came from overhead, the Grand Central Announcer. "Ladies and gentlemen, please do not leave personal items unattended. Unattended items will be confiscated. Report any suspicious activity to the Surge Protector. Last call for Tea Tapper Wagon, departing in outlet two. Tea Tapper Wagon, last call. Soul Train to Dance Dance Ninjago now boarding in outlet twelve. All aboard the Soul Train, outlet twelve."

Cole broke out of his happy reverie and stepped out of the outlet, hefting the cherries. A buzzer sounded as the air turned red momentarily and a shimmering blue man with a clipboard and sparking hair appeared before him. Cole groaned. Surge Protector.

Without looking up from his clipboard, Surge Protector said in a bored monotone "Step aside sir, random security check."

Cole snorted in annoyance. "Random, my behind! You always stop me!"

"I'm just a surge protector doing my job, sir," Surge Protector continued blandly. "Name..."

"Lara Croft!" Cole shouted.

"Name..." Surge Protector repeated, not buying and still not looking up.

"Kirby Morrow?" Cole tried.

"Name..."

Cole sighed and mumbled "Crush it Cole."

"And where are you coming from?"

"Uh, Pac Ninja! Duh." Cole pointed up at the flashing sign above him that plainly read 'Pac Ninja'.

Surge Protector made a note of something. "You bring any fruit with you?"

Cole looked down at his cherries and quickly hid them behind his back. Bouncing on his toes, he replied "Nope!"

Surge Protector finally looked up and blinked owlishly at him. Not finding anything at fault, he looked back down at his clipboard. "Okay then. Where are you headed?"

"Fix it Jay Junior," he sighed.

"Anything to declare?"

"I hate you," Cole deadpanned.

"I get that a lot," Surge Protector said flatly. "Proceed."

Cole walked through the console, head and shoulders above the majority of other characters. People moved out of the way as he came near, whispering fearfully. A tiny angel boy grabbed a matching girl and pulled her away, whispering "Bad Guy coming!" A small character burrowed into the ground before Cole could get a good look at it.

Cole sighed and bit into a cherry. As he passed by outlet after outlet, Sonic appeared on the PSA screens in the middle of Game Central Station.

"If you leave your game, stay safe. Stay alert. And whatever you do...don't die," Sonic narrated. "Because if you die outside your own game...you don't regenerate. Ever. Game over."

Cole happily ignored the signs as he rarely left his game. He was ignoring everyone and everything. But then he came upon a group of gameless characters. It was the Q*Bert gang, holding up signs that read, among other things, 'Out of Order. Please help!'

Cole sighed, glancing back over his shoulder. He went down on one knee and gently put down his uneaten cherry. Q*Bert beeped questioningly, nudging the cherry with his nose, and his friends crowded around.

"Here you go, buddies. It's fresh. Straight from Pac Ninja's." Cole's voice wavered slightly and he sighed, knowing that his stomach would soon be protesting this decision. "Hang in there, guys."

Cole left the Q*Bert gang to chatter about their 'good luck' and went through the entrance to Fix it Jay Jr's. A buzzer sounded as the air turned red momentarily and Surge Protector popped up. "Name?"

"Argh!" Cole shouted in frustration.


	4. Party Envy

**Happy Reading!**

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Back in the gorgeous Nicelander apartment penthouse, a massive party was well underway. Disco lights spun crazily over happily chatting characters from almost every game in the arcade. Music pumped as people danced, drank, and ate hors d'oeuvres. Jay greeted guests happily, blushing humbly when they congratulated him for how long the Fix it game had been going.

Outside and far below, Cole arrived in the Fix it Jay Junior trolley. He tried to get out, but he was stuffed so tight he couldn't budge. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

Crack! Boom! Cole startled, staring up to the top of the apartment. Colorful fireworks were bursting above the penthouse in the shape of Jay's face. Another face exploded into existence and between the two a set of words sizzled up. 'WE LOVE YOU JAY!'

Cole frowned in confusion. "Huh?" He reached as far as he could out of the trolley and searched though a garbage can. His hands dug out a pair of empty bottles. Putting them up to his eyes to magnify his sight, Cole aimed his makeshift binoculars to look through a penthouse window.

His eyes widened as he saw the party. There was ice sculptures and dancing, flowers and a giant buffet table. A presentation congratulated Jay and the Nicelanders for thirty years of gameplay.

Cole read it aloud. "Happy thirtieth anniversary? They're having a party without me!"

Through the binoculars he saw Pac Ninja working his way across the buffet table.

"They invited Pac Ninja?! That cherry-chasing, dot-muncher isn't even part of this game!" Cole exploded, tossing away the bottles so they shattered on the ground. He rocked the trolley back and forth furiously, eventually popping out and scrambling unhappily towards the apartment.

Up in the penthouse and unaware of the impending doom-by-Cole, Jay wandered happily though the room.

"Great party, Jay," Roy greeted enthusiastically.

"Why thank you, friend," Jay chirped proudly, tipping his cap.

Deanna rushed over, grabbing his arm. "Jay, you're needed on the dance floor!"

Jay laughed giddily as Deanna pulled him onto the colorfully flashing dance floor. Together, an entire group of Nicelanders followed the fixer in his special dance, complete with arm motions and steps. "Woot! Woot! Fix it Jay Junior! Woot! Woot! Fix it Jay Junior!"

The doorbell rang abruptly. Jay stopped dancing and turned to the door. "I'll bet that's Mario. Fashionably late, per the norm."

"I'll get it, Jay," volunteered Gene, eager to make a good impression on the famous character. He danced to the door and open it to see Cole smiling awkwardly, his huge form filling the door frame.

Gene shrieked and slammed the door, pressing up against it as if his miniscule body could block it from opening to let Cole in. "IT'S COLE!"

The party goers gasped and murmured in shock and confusion.

"He'll crush the party," Norwood hissed in terror.

"Hide the stemware!" Deanna panicked, fanning herself.

"Get rid of him, Jay," whispered Roy fearfully.

"Hey, hey, I got it," Jay reassured, holding up his hands to calm them. "I'll go talk to him, if that's what you really want."

Nicelanders and assorted characters across the room nodded as one.

Jay blew out a long breath. "Carry on, everyone." Pulling out his hammer and twirling it absentmindedly, he slipped out into the hallway and shut the door behind him. Cole loomed high over him and the small blue-clad man gulped.

"Cole?" Jay tried. "Can I... Can I help you?"

Cole rolled his shoulders back anxiously. "Uh, hi, Jay. Um, I just wanted to check on you guys. I saw a big explosion, or something, it went over the building and, you know..."

"Ah, those were," Jay cleared his throat and edged back a step, "just fireworks. I taught Lucy and Brad how to make 'em. Pretty cool, right?"

"Fireworks, okay. Phew. That's reassuring." Cole coughed nervously, unsure of how to phrase the next bit. "So, is it like somebody's birthday or..."

"Well, it's more of an anniversary," Jay said slowly. "The thirtieth anniversary of our game, actually."

"What? Is that today?" Cole asked, over-exaggerating his fake surprise.

"I know, right! So hard to remember these things, am I correct?" Jay laughed, relieved that large man wasn't angry.

"Yeah, I'm such a dummy with dates!" exclaimed Cole. "Anyway, congratulations."

"Thank you, Cole," Jay approved. "And to you."

An awkward silence ensued. Cole played with his dark overall straps, tugging at the broken one. Jay looked anywhere but at the wrecker, absentmindedly fiddling with his gold hammer again.

Eventually the door to the penthouse opened and a Frogger turtle sticked his head out. "Just a heads up, Jay. They'll be taking out the cake in a few shakes."

"Hey, Glen," Cole greeted amiably.

Glen stared at him for a minute, cool and disapproving. "Cole." He shut the door, fast.

"Cake," Cole said, rolling the word around in his mouth. "I've heard about this cake stuff. Sounds good. Never had it. No one ever seems to throw it out, so it never ends up in the dump, you know?"

"No. What would trash and the dump have to do with you and eating cake?" Jay murmured, confused and a bit concerned.

Cole plowed right over him and just kept talking, one hand stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Never actually tasted it. I always wanted to try cake."

Jay looked uncertain. "I don't suppose... You'd like to come in and have a slice, would you?"


	5. Cake and Controversy

**The first chapter of my own. Please review, and Happy Reading!**

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Cole threw open the door to the penthouse, beaming even though he had to crouch to fit through. "Hey-o, everybody!"

He straightened up and cracked his head against the ceiling. A few thick chunks of ceiling fell down right on top of Jay, who had hurried in after him. The fixer yelped and dropped dead with a lily appearing in his hands and ominous organ music played. The party guests froze in horror.

Jay's prone form flickered a few times before he regenerated. He jumped up, quickly reassuring "I'm okay! I'm okay. I'm fit as a fiddle."

A mass sigh of relief escaped from the guests as they relaxed.

"Now, you all know Cole, right?" Jay asked nervously.

"Evening," Cole said, equally nervous as he tried to get off the steps and accidentally broke them. "Oops. Uh, evenin'. Nellie. Lucy. Brad. Dana."

"Deanna," the Nicelander corrected softly.

"Big Gene," Cole sarcastically continued.

"Why is HE here?" Gene asked, annoyed.

"He's just here for a slice of cake and then he'll be on his way," Jay soothed.

"And you know, I am a big part of the game," Cole pointed out, bending down to get in the Nicelander's face. "Why are you here, Gene?"

Jay pushed between them nervously, breaking it up. "Oh look, the cake!"

Cole looked up and gasped in amazement. Mary had wheeled out an elaborate decorated cake that looked like the Nicelanders' apartment, complete with candy "We love Jay" fireworks.

"Well, I'll be dipped," Jay said with amazement. "You've really outdone yourself, Mary."

The other Nicelanders agreed happily.

"Oh and look, there's all of us at the top!" Roy admired.

There was a little tiny version of each Nicelander made of candy. A tiny Jay was reaching for a big candy medal suspended over his head. There was no sign of Cole.

"Each apartment is everyone's

favorite flavor," Mary explained. "For example, Norwood's is red velvet."

"Guilty!" Norwood chuckled.

"There's lemon for Lucy," Mary continued. "Rum cake for Gene. For Deanna-"

Cole wasn't listening as he stepped closer to examine the cake. It was amazing, but there wasn't a candy version of him. No, wait. A vaguely character-shaped thing was planted in some mud at the bottom of the cake. It was growling, showing pointed teeth. And it was wearing black overalls.

"Hey, what's the flavor of the mud I'm stuck in down there?" He asked.

Mary paused uncomfortably. "Hmm? Oh, that. That's chocolate."

"I've never actually liked chocolate," Cole mused, reaching out and poking the figurine.

Mary winced. "Well. I did not know that."

"One other little thing. I hate to

be picky but this poor guy might be a lot happier if you put him up here. With everyone else," Cole explained. He plucked his figurine from the 'mud' and carefully fit it onto the roof. The cake smushed under the extra weight.

"My cake," Mary whimpered. She took a step back.

Cole pushed his fingers from the corners of the figurine's mouth outward. A lopsided smile indented into its face. "See? Much better."

"No, no, no," Gene said angrily, pushing his way to the front of the crowd. "There's no room up there for him." With a jump and an aimed swing of his arm, Gene knocked the little Cole back into the mud.

"Well, how about this? They can make room for him. They can take turns. Would that be so hard?" Cole swapped his and Jay's little selves, placing Jay in the chocolate. The Nicelanders gasped.

Jay didn't really care, he just wanted this to end without anyone getting hurt. "Here's an idea. How about, we just EAT the cake? Wouldn't that be great!"

"Sorry, Jay. Just give me a minute." Gene turned back to the argument. "Jay needs to be on the roof, because he's about to get his medal!"

"Maybe you- I mean, THEY should give the medal to Cole for once," the crusher growled, ripping the candy medal off the fireworks (destroying them in the process) and placing it on the figurine-Cole's chest. "It wouldn't be the end of the world."

"Now you're just being ridiculous," Gene snarled. "Only good guys can win medals. And you, 'Crush it', are definitely no 'good guy'."

"I could be a good guy if I wanted to!" Cole spat back, unconsciously taking a threatening step towards the orange-haired Nicelander. "I could win a medal."

"Uh huh," Gene said nasally, putting the candy figures back in their original places. "And when you do, come talk to us."

"And then would you finally let me

be on the top of the stupid cake?" Cole burst.

"Are you kidding?" Gene retorted, hopping onto a nearby counter. He spread his arms wide. "If you won a medal, we'd let you live up here in the penthouse!"

Cole's jaw dropped. He could live in the penthouse. All he needed was a medal.

Gene saw the look on Cole's face and hastened to clarify. "But it will never happen." He hopped down, snatched the candy medal off candy Cole at the bottom, and carefully patted it back onto candy Jay.

"Because you're just the bad guy that crushes the building."

"No, I'm not," Cole said, raising his fist angrily.

"Yes, you are," Gene replied angrily. He flicked over the Cole figurine face-forst into the 'mud'.

"No, I'm not!" Cole roared, bringing down his fists onto the cake. Frosting, filling, and crumbs splattered everywhere.

Gene wiped the bits of cake off his face and calmly replied "Yes, you are."

He stared in horror at what he had done. Cole caught Jay's eyes and something inside him turned over at the fixer's shocked face. "I... I didn't... I mean..."

Jay turned away to comfort Mary, who had started crying.

"All right, Gene," Cole said quietly. "You know what? I'm gonna win a medal."

He began backing toward the door, characters cringing out of his way. "Oh, I am gonna win a medal! The shiniest medal this place has ever seen. A medal so good that it will make Jay's medals... Wet their pants!"

The corners of Jay's mouth twitched upward and he stifled a giggle.

Cole addressed his last words towards the kind fixer as he walked out the door. "And good night. Thank you for the party."

Once Cole was gone, Brad leaned over to Gene and whispered "Is he serious?"

"Oh please," Gene scoffed squeakily. "Where is a bad guy going to win a medal? Of course he's not serious."


	6. Tea Tapper

**Sorry this took so long. Life gets in the way, you know how it is. Enjoy!**

* * *

"I've never been more serious in my life," Cole said, putting down his empty cup of tea. "That's why I came straight here, Mystake. You're a smart woman."

The old tea lady nodded, only half listening as she washed dirty cups and saucers. Her young child sat next to her, watching Cole intently.

"I don't think you've ever given anyone a bum steer," Cole continued. "Now, where can a guy like me go to win a medal?"

Mystake shrugged and rasped "I don't think such a game exists, Cole. Sorry."

Cole groaned. "C'mon! You know characters, you get just about everybody in here every WEEK. There's gotta be-"

"Hey, Tea Tpper! Need a refill!" Someone called from across the room.

Mystake rolled her eyes and picked up a whistling tea kettle. "Be right back."

With speed that would be unnatural for a young athlete and was even more so for an old lady, the Tea Tapper zipped around the room filling cups. Soon, Mystake slid back behind the counter. "So. You were saying?"

Cole sighed. "I was saying, I can't spend another thirty years living alone in the garbage. I'm not going back without a medal."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you," Mystake rasped slowly, methodically wiping down the counter. "Maybe somebody left a medal here. You're welcome to dig through the lost and found if you want."

Cole nodded, heaving himself off the counter stool. He waved in thanks and Mystake and her kid waved back before turning their attention to customers.

Cole headed to the broom closet out in the adjoining hallway. He knelt down partially in the closet and partially in the hallway, putting his hands in the 'lost and found' box. "Okay, let's see what we've got here."

He began rummaging through the box, but pulled out his hands quickly. A dusty little snake had wrapped around his arm and Cole made a face, flicking it away into the hall. "Shoo, get out of here."

He put his hands back in the box, pulling out and examining a Mario mushroom before tossing it to the side. "Huh. Nope."

A small orange box came out next and Cole frowned, asking himself "What is this?"

The box expanded, popping out into an exclamation point and giving off a suspenseful 'duh duh duuuh!' sound. Cole shook his head, tossing it away.

One more thing was left at bottom of the box and Cole's hopes rose as he saw it glint in the dim light. Carefully, he lifted it out of the box. It unfolded and Cole groaned in disgust as he saw what it really was: a pair of red shorts. "Oh, come on Zangief. Gross."

Cole sighed, pushing the box back into the closet. "What am I doing?"

As he stood back up, a brown-armored space samurai came staggering through the door and accidentally clipped Cole over the head with the blunt handle of an axe.

Cole scowled and rubbed the back of his head. He glared at the samurai. "Hey, excuse you."

The man kept walking unsteadily towards the door to Tea Tapper's, but missed and ran into the wall over and over. And over. And over.

Cole frowned, slightly concerned. He went over to the samurai still stuck in a walk cycle. "Uh, you okay?"

The clumsy samurai didn't seem to hear him. Still walking, he began to mumble in confusion. "We are humanity's last hope. Our mission: destroy all CySnakes. Private Dareth, reporting for duty. We are humanity's last hope. Our mission: destroy all CySnakes. We are humanity's last hope. Our mission: destroy-"

"Are you alright, space cadet?" Cole tenatively placed a hand on Dareth's shoulder.

The man whipped around and grabbed Cole by the shoulders, eyes wild. "We've only been plugged in a week. A week, I tell you! And every day it's climb the building. Fight the snakes. Climb the building! Fight the snakes! And I say I can fight, but the snakes! The snakes are crazy!"

Cole snorted in disgust and pried the samurai's hands off him. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get with the progrsm, times are tough all over."

He began heading for the door, trying to ignore Dareth's fevered mumblings. But Dareth just kept talking. "And all for what? A lousy medal."

Cole stopped in his tracks as if he'd ran into a wall. "Medal?" He turned to face the brown samurai. "You win a medal?"

"Yeah," groaned Dareth. "Medal of Heroes."

"A medal," Cole repeated, turning around. "Is it shiny?

Dareth shrugged helplessly. "Pretty shiny."

"Oooo, and it says hero on it?" Cole breathed hopefully.

"Uh huh." Dareth tried to turn and go into Tea Tapper's.

Cole grabbed him by the heavily-armored shoulders and spun him back around. "And you said you win it by climbing a building?"

"And fighting snakes!" Dareth yelped.

Cole grinned, thinking of the little snake that had been in the lost and found. This would be easy. "Right. Snakes. Listen: Is there any chance I could go with you to your game and get one of those medals-"

"Negatory!" Dareth stuttered.

Cole raised a thick eyebrow sarcastically. "Does that mean maybe?"

"No. Look, only the bravest and the best serve in our corps-" Dareth began as he took a step towards Cole.

Something squeaked under Dareth's foot and both characters looked down. Dareth had stepped on the tiny dirty snake, which was now hissing in pain.

"SNAKE! AIIEEEEE!" Dareth squealed like a baby, turned quickly, and slammed into the wall. He fell to the ground, out cold.

Cole looked down at the unconscious samurai and the fleeing snake. A lightbulb flickered on over his head in the previously dark hallway.

Moments later, Dareth was passed out in the closet. Cole pushed his leg in and slammed the door, accidentally breaking off the door handle in the process.

The crusher looked down at himself, now clad in heavy brown samurai gear. He smiled. This was going to be a piece of cake.


	7. Samurai Versus Snakes

Game Central Station was quickly emptying. Characters hurried to their games, chatting amiably as they prepared for the day. The Grand Central Announcer boomed from every corner, stating clearly "The arcade will open in five minutes. Please report to your games."

Cole stumbled out of Tea Tapper's, clumsy in his new armor. To his surprise, Surge Protector walked right past him without a second glance. Being 'Dareth' definitely had its advantages.

And its disadvantages. Cole wrinkled his nose inside the helmet and gagged. "Ugh, it smells like ralph in here. Okay, what was it called? Samurai- Samurai something. Samurai's..."

He looked around and gasped in recognition, seeing soldiers in the same uniform as Dareth's going into a game. The sign above read- "Duty! Samuari's Duty. All right."

Straightening his metal uniform, Cole strode toward Samurai's Duty. He wasn't looking where he was going and tripped right over Q*Bert.

"$%#€&!" Q*Bert chirped, confused.

Cole sat up and flipped up the visor on his helmet. "Sorry, Q*Bert. It's just me, Cole. Don't tell anybody."

Q*Bert's eyes went wide as Cole walked awkwardly towards Samurai's Duty. "+\%€ ?"

* * *

Outside of Wu's Family Fun Center, the sun was well over the horizon. A young boy in a green employee uniform flipped the sign on the inside from 'closed' to 'open' and unlocked the door next to him.

Wu stood behind him, greeting the customers. "Morning kids, come on in. Good to see you, good to see you. You too, little fellow."

The young employee watched the room carefully as the last people entered and headed to the games. He turned to Wu, bouncing up and down excitedly. "Uncle, Uncle! Okay, I know I normally don't get any spending money until I've worked the counter for a while but there's nobody by Samurai's Duty for once and I really really really wanna play! Please, I'll work later, I promise!"

Wu chuckled as he dug around in his pockets, producing a handful of quarters. "Of course, Lloyd."

Llyod grabbed the quarters eagerly, exclaiming "Yes! Ooo, can I get some candy too?"

"What would Misako say?" Wu asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lloyd slumped slightly in defeat. "Mom'd say not until after lunch."

"Exactly," Wu agreed, tapping his nephew gently on the nose. "You can have some after lunch."

Cheered up again, Lloyd ran off to Samurai's Duty. Wu watched him and laughed as he headed over to man the snack counter.

* * *

Inside Samurai's Duty, the last train pulled up to the station and armored samurai piled out. Cole stumbled out last, smiling in awe as he walked.

The game's music was playing intensely in the background. Soldiers were talking and laughing as they ran to their starting spots.

A voice overhead announced "Quarter alert, quarter alert."

"Oh, sweet golden medal," Cole whispered, pumping a fist in the air. He followed the other soldiers away.

Outside the game, four quarters slid into their slot. Lloyd picked up the sword from on top the console and aimed it at the screen, grinning.

A deep, suspenseful voice began narrating from inside the screen. "On a planet with no name, a top-secret experiment has gone horribly wrong."

Inside the game, Cole began to push his way through the crowd of samurai in the hull.

"Come on now, hustle up, quiet down," a man in red armor ordered from the front of the room. "The clock is ticking. Let's go."

Cole finally made it to the front of the crowd. Trying to blend in, he cheered "Rootin', tootin', ready for shootin'!"

The man in red rolled his eyes at Cole. "You're all hot air. Shut up."

Cole didn't argue, but someone else stepped up beside the man.

"Alright, now listen up 'cause I'm only gonna say this once. Fear is a four letter word here, ladies. If you're too chicken to face a CySnake, you're no samurai," a stately woman dressed in red and brown armor instructed as she distributed ono axes and quivers full of arrows.

Cole raised a hand tentatively. "What's a CySnake?"

"Shut up, Private Dareth, I'm not in the mood for your nonsense," the woman ordered, tossing a wicked-looking scythe at him with enough force to knock him over. "It's make your mommas proud time!"

Cole shrugged inwardly. When in Grand Theft Auto, act like a grand thief of automobiles. When in Samurai's Duty... "I love my momma!"

"Heads up! First-Person Shooter coming through!" The man in red yelled.

The samurai made way for a rinky-dink robot with a screen for a head displaying a count-down to game play. Its mechanical arms held a sword and the wheels wobbled to simulate walking. Everyone ignored it and gave it plenty of space.

Cole just stared at it. He'd heard about FPSs before but never seen one. This was awesome.

A voice announced "Gameplay in three, two, one..."

The woman in red and brown faced the FPS, expertly twirling a pair of daggers. "We are humanity's last hope. I'm Sergeant Nya Calhoun, this is my second in command Kai, these are my men, and this is our mission: destroy all CySnakes!"

Cole bounced up and down antsily behind the FPS. He was SO ready to go!

Nya forced a smile towards the FPS and consequently, Lloyd in front of the console. "You ready, rookie? Let's find out."

The door opened and Cole leaned forward eagerly. When he glimpsed the real game, he leaned back as quickly as possible.

The view took his breath away, and not in a good way. The wind howled and tore viciously at the characters, the terrain was sharp and menacing. Twisted buildings rose from the ground, half destroyed. Giant THINGS swooped through the air around the tallest building.

Cole focused his gaze on one and gasped. It was a snake with wings that looked like lasers sprouting from its back, fangs protruding dangerously from its gaping mouth, and mechanical legs supporting its every move. He gulped. "Oh no."

The samurai screamed a battle cry in unison and charged the CySnakes, led by Nya and Kai. Cole was swept along with them, screaming even louder in terror.

Nya ignored everything, pointing at the closest terror. "CySnake, twelve o' clock! Take it, newbie!"

As the real samurai began taking down snakes and the FPS controlled by Lloyd just stared at everything, Cole went around in a panic. This was not what he'd expected. He swung his scythe randomly, running at everything.

"Watch out, rookie!" Nya instructed Lloyd. "These monsters become what they eat."

Just she said that, a CySnake wrestled Cole's scythe out of his hand.

"Hey!" Cole shouted, punching it. "Give that back!"

The CySnake's arm morphed into a scythe and began swinging. Cole turned and ran, screaming like a little girl.

Nya brought down a few snakes before recognizing her next cue. She turned back to the FPS. "Break the eggs before they hatch!"

"Ew, there's something coming out of their tails," Cole groaned, running to hide behind Nya.

Lloyd watched in confusion as Kai came into his view, grabbed Cole by the shoulder, and effortlessly tossed him away, yelling "Dareth! Stay in formation."

Nya turned to the screen, back on script. "All right people, the kitten whispers and tickle fights stop now. The entrance to the lab is straight ahead."

"Yes!" Cole jumped out from behind a rock he taken cover by. "I'll meet you guys inside!"

"Stop!" Nya ordered. Kai just groaned.

Cole didn't listen. He ran straight to the building, yelling "Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"

As soon as he crossed the bridge, he alerted a sensor. The laboratory doors flew open and a flood of CySnakes poured out.

Cole screamed again. He ran, hurtling across the ground until he tripped and fell onto the FPS. His face smushed against the screen, Cole continued to freak out. "Ahhh! I thought this was going to be more like Centipede! When did video games become so violent and scary?"

Lloyd's mouth fell open. He watched Cole pull his face off the FPS and continue howling "Save me! Get me outta here!"

Unknown to the fake samurai, a huge snake came up behind him. It reared, licking its lips.

Lloyd dropped the sword and instinctively yelped "Look out!"

"Wha-" Cole whirled around and picked up the FPS to use as a shield. "Take it!"

Jaw hanging open, Lloyd watched as the camera angle whipped up to the jaws of a giant CySnake, then crashed to the ground as if the FPS has fallen over dead.

"Game over," the game announced. "To continue playing, insert four quarters."

Lloyd put down the sword and wandered off, shaking his head in confusion.

Cole kept wrestling the CySnake, shouting "Hey! It's game over, get off!"

"Beacon up!" Kai shouted. "Cease fire!"

A chorus of samurai voices echoed his order across the game.

A bright light suddenly shined through the lab building and out the top. All the CySnakes froze and turned their scaly bodies around. Charmed by the light, they flew into it and were zapped to death.

"I used to hate Nicelanders the most," Cole grumbled as he picked himself up. "Now, I officially hate snakes."

"Return to start positions," a voice called overhead. "Return to start positions. Return to start positions. Return to-"

Cole tuned out and looked at the downed FPS, hefting it to its feet and dusting it off. "Here, let me help. You must be angry..."

Annoyed, the FPS swatted him away and rolled off in a huff, pausing only to gather up its sword.

"Sorry!" Cole called futilely after it.

"Dareth!" Nya ran towards the false samurai. Kai followed close behind at a slower pace, scowling and crossing his arms.

"Who?" Cole asked before realization set in. "Oh yeah, Dareth, I'm Dareth. That's me."

Cole raised his chin, standing at attention to avoid attention. Nya reached him, reared back, and clocked him in the helmet with the handle of her dagger, hard.

Cole yelped in pain as Kai trotted up to them.

"What's the first rule of Samurai's Duty?" The male second-in-command demanded.

"...No cuts, no butt, that is not a coconut?" Cole guessed.

Nya clocked him again, this time with the other dagger. "No! Never interfere with the first person shooter. Our job is to get the gamers to the top of that building so they can get a medal, and that's it. So stick to the program, samurai!"

"Right, right, aye aye, captain!" Cole yelled. To be honest, he would've said anything to keep Nya from hitting him again.

Nya rolled her eyes, but sheathed her daggers as the announcer called out a quarter alert. She walked off, Kai following, as she called "All right, wimps, back to your starting positions! Let's go again!"

Cole snorted to himself and muttered "Yeah, right. No way I'm going through that again."

He turned his gaze to the formidable building, slowly coming up with a plan. "So that's where they keep the medal, huh?"


	8. That Might Be Problematic

**AN: 23 REVIEWS! Thank you all so much. In other news, y****ou know you've been thinking about Ninjago too much when you're writing something else and you automatically spell mistake as 'mystake'. T.T I'm looking at my life and I'm looking at my choices...**

**Also, I'm not sure if FF will allow the characters I used for Q*Bertese 'words'. If there's blank spots, let me know and I'll try to find a substitute. In the meanwhile, just pretend it's all there.**

* * *

Lloyd wandered through the arcade, looking for something new to do. He'd played all the old games millions, no, billions of times and Samurai's Duty was messing with his brain, so that was a no. (Plus it took a whole dollar to play. He could buy three suckers, a pack of gum, and a candy bar with that kind of money!)

One pair of connected game consoles caught his eye. "Sugar Rush," Lloyd read aloud. "This is the 'build your own kart, new racers daily' one. Sweet, variety!"

Two big boys almost twice his size were racing busily. Lloyd walked up and placed a quarter on the cabinet. "I've got next game."

One of the boys knocked it off with a whole roll of quarters, more than Lloyd had ever had at once in his life. "Beat it, pipsqueak. We're playing through all nine of today's racers. It's gonna take all day."

"Yeah," the other said. Then, as an afterthought as they turned back to their game, "sorry."

Lloyd huffed and picked up his quarter. "Whatever."

Walking away, he headed to his all-time favorite game: Fix it Jay Junior. There was something about the characters that drew him to it daily.

Lloyd dropped a quarter in the slot and pressed start. He grabbed the familiar joystick as the automatic backstory played. He felt bad for the crusher. You didn't even get to know the guy's name in normal play, but Wu had found the name 'Cole' in a game manual and td Lloyd. His uncle knew how much he liked it, he was always talking to the main characters as he played. They seemed even more like his friends than all the other characters in the arcade (except for Kai and Nya from Samurai's Duty, there was potential there).

Lloyd came back to reality as the actual gameplay started. An 'I'm gonna crush it' word bubble popped up but Cole wasn't there. Lloyd frowned. That had never happened before

Then something even weirder happened. One of the Nicelanders peeped up, saying "Where's Cole?"

"Keep it together, Mary," the redheaded mayor hissed in his nasally voice. "Stick to the program."

Lloyd blinked in confusion as the Nicelanders screamed "Fix it, Jay!"

Jay ran on screen. "I can fix- oh no!" His gasp was clearly audible and Lloyd's eyes widened.

"Cole," Jay was saying. "Quarter alert. Game on. Cole?"

It was almost as if the characters were alive. Lloyd had played these games many, many times and he'd never seen anything like this. He fiddled with the joystick, making Jay jump up the building and 'fix' the windows.

"Do something, Jay," a voice whispered.

"Don't worry," Jay's voice managed to say. "I'll fix it."

Lloyd let go of the joystick with a startled yelp. It was moving on its own as Jay climbed down the building, sidled away slowly, and then ran, yelling "COOOLLLLEEEE!"

"Uncle?" Lloyd called, racing away from the game. He quickly returned, dragging Wu behind him.

"What's the matter, Lloyd?" Wu asked, freeing himself from the boy's strong grip.

"I think I broke it," the boy in green said nervously, pointing at the screen.

Wu peered at the screen, where the pixelated people were running around wildly. "Huh. Look at that. The game's gone cuckoo..."

"Like my dad?" Lloyd asked innocently.

Wu winced. "Yes, I suppose. I'll have someone in to look at it tomorrow, see if they can fix it."

"What if they can't?" Lloyd looked up at his uncle anxiously.

"Then I'm afraid it might be time to put ol' Jay and Cole out to pasture," Wu said sadly, patting the screen.

Lloyd sighed, shoulders slumping. As he walked away, he muttered "Also like my dad."

Chuckling bitterly, Wu nodded and taped an orange sign to the console.

The Nicelanders froze and looked up as a shadow fell over them. The sign had completely covered the screen, turning any light into orange. They each read the backward words silently.

Gene gulped. "Ladies and gentlemen, we're... Out of order!"

"Sweet mercy! Without Cole, we're doomed!" Mary realized.

"They're gonna pull our plug!" Brad shrieked girlishly, hugging a flowering bush in panic.

Everyone gasped and screamed as chaos ensued again.

With forced positivity, Jay said "Okay, everybody calm down. Cole probably fell asleep in the washroom of Tea Tapper's again."

Just then, a light approached their little train station. Jay pointed at it hopefully. "See? I bet that's him now."

Everyone rushed to the little train. To their surprise, Cole wasn't there. Someone else hopped out of the cart.

"Hey, it's Q*Bert!" Jay said happily, recognizing the orange character. "What brings you here?"

"§ ㈉9 ?‰ •" Q*Bert exclaimed immediately, not bothering with formalities. "+㇦6#— »&㈌6"

"What's he saying, Jay?" Gene asked suspiciously.

"Hold on, my Q*Bertese is a little rusty," Jay warned. He bent down to Q*Bert's level and scrunched up his face, thinking quickly. "¥ /\/\ ㈂5㈝3{ } Uh, ㈛3$ ) ㇷ6"

"ㇷ98 () &$& ㆚0% -_-㇮7㈍1" Q*Bert squeaked gravely.

Unsure of exactly what was going on, Jay frowned in thought. "ㇸ5¢ §㈞6₩M ㈐2㈌8"

"㈞6₩M ㈐2㈌8, ㇺ2; ; ㈝6" Q*Bert said with added emphasis. " ㈞6! ㈌8"

Jay gasped. Without thinking about how those around him would react, he repeated "Cole's gone Garmadon?!"


	9. Intersections

**AN: Go check out the poll on my profile! It's very important and concerns this story.**

* * *

Cole grunted, shifting his weight as his right hand slipped momentarily. He took a deep breath and steadied himself. Then, he strained to reach higher and continued climbing.

He had shed the heavy samurai armor as soon Nya had walked away and ran to the back of the building. Sizing it up, Cole had found a decent climbing path to the top.

It had taken the whole day but now he was at the top. Cole heaved himself onto a narrow ledge. He peered through a window and his mouth dropped.

A sea of metallic snake eggs led to a short staircase. Up a few steps was an elevated platform in the middle of the room. Floating above the platform was a shiny golden medal, the Medal of Heroes.

Cole whistled in amazement. "Wow."

Down below, the samurai were returning to their starting positions. The game announcer was saying calmly "Attention, the arcade is now closed. All characters are free to go. The arcade is now closed."

"Did you get a load of Dareth today, sis?" Kai said, laughing and swinging his sword around carelessly. "He was even flightier than normal."

Nya stopped and tilted her head to to the side, listening intently. "Shut up!" She barked at her troops.

Silence. Kai stepped up next to her, at attention instantly.

Nya squinted at the game's entrance tunnel. She twirled her daggers expertly, calling back "CySnake on the loose."

A strange sound came from the tunnel and a shadowed figure appeared.

"Attack!" Nya yelled.

The samurai charged the figure but he sprang into action, bouncing and dodging. It was immediately obvious the figure wasn't a CySnake but the samurai were all too revved up to care.

Within a minute, Kai had tackled the figure, pinned him down, and sat on him proudly. "You want me handle this guy?"

Nya groaned and walked over, pulling her brother up. She studied the small man who had invaded their game. He was dressed almost entirely in blue and held a gold hammer to his chest protectively. His eyes were huge and scared.

She leaned down to the man's face, bopping him on the nose with the butt of one of her daggers. "Nice jumping, tiny. Start talking."

"I'm Fix-It Jay Jr., ma'am," the man stammered, pushing the weapon away from his face, "from the game, Fix-It Jay, Jr! And-"

Jay froze. Moving the dagger handle had given him his first real look at Nya's face, and it was having quite an effect on him.

"And? And what?" Kai asked suspiciously.

"Jimminy jamminy..." Jay murmured, absolutely starstruck. "Look at that high definition. Your face! It's amazing..."

Nya blinked, unsure how to respond. "Uhhhh. Flattery doesn't charge these batteries, civilian." But she blushed and helped him up, sheathing her weapons.

Kai wasn't too happy with the way this little man was staring at his sister. The samurai poked him in the ribs. "State your business."

"Oh. Right," Jay remembered, not looking away from Nya. "I'm looking for my colleague, Crush It Cole. He left our game!"

"Not our problem," Kai said nonchalantly.

"Cole abandoned his game. How do you not see how serious that is?" Jay said desperately.

"Like this." Kai tapped a finger on his chin mock-thoughtfully. "Huh. That doesn't seem that serious."

Nya punched him in the side and he staggered around, groaning exaggeratedly. "Uh! Ow! Help me!" Each samurai Kai got close to gently shoved him away and chuckled, until eventually Kai collapsed in a heap, gasping melodramatically. Nya laughed.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, right," Nya said quickly, turning back to Jay. "I haven't seen anybody since this morning. Sorry."

"Well, Q*Bert saw Cole come in here," Jay said slowly.

Kai scoffed from his spot on the ground. "Impossible. Nothing gets past us."

A crash resounded through the game. All the samurai turned towards the tower. A shadow loomed on the top floor, made huge by the tower lights.

Jay raised an eyebrow triumphantly. "Is that nothing?"

Cole punched the window one more time clear out the glass shards left behind. He stepped through the makeshift door, brushing off his hands.

"Okay, let's see," he thought out loud. Studying the maze of eggs, he saw a possible route.

Cole took a step forward on tip-toe, wobbling slightly. He took another step, and another. "Nice little eggs... Excuse me..."

There was a solid clump in front of him. He couldn't walk through. Cole crouched, then leapt over them, eyes squeezed shut and-

His feet found solid ground and he fell forward onto the steps. Cole straightened and looked back. He had cleared the last eggs. "Yes!"

Cole climbed the steps and stood beneath the medal. Something clicked under his feet and a huge holographic samurai flickered on in front of him. More smaller holograms surrounded him, watching respectfully.

"Congratulations, samurai," the giant hologram proclaimed. "It is my honor to bestow upon you the Medal of Heroes."

"Wow," Cole said again.

The medal slowly began to float down to him. As it did, Cole closed his eyes.

He imagined having his own penthouse party, being on the dance floor surrounded by Nicelanders who are actually nice to him. He saw a cake with a handsome Cole on top, wearing his Medal of Heroes and being hugged by the Nicelander figurines. He saw Gene outside in the brick pile looking longingly up at the party through binoculars and crying.

The medal landed around Cole's neck gently. "No way. Whoa! Whoa ho ho!"

"Ten hut!" The giant hologram yelled. The other holo-samurai snapped to attention as heroic music began to play. "History will long revere your courage and sacrifice."

Cole started proudly down the steps, smiling and waving to the holograms.

"You have etched in the rock of virtue, a legacy beyond compare," the samurai hologram continued.

Cole laughed, delighted. "Thank you. Thanks guys. At ease!"

The giant samurai just kept talking and talking. "You are the universe's greatest hero."

CRACK! Cole froze and looked down. His left foot had landed on a stray egg. A thin web of cracks spread out over the egg.

"Oops," Cole said slowly. He leaned down for a closer look. (In the background, the holo-samurai was still expanding on how perfect Cole was.)

The egg split in half and a tiny purple snake crawled out. It blinked cutely and stretched its metal wings, testing them and hovering in the air. Then it attacked.

"...The living embodiment of all that this corps represents," the giant holographic samurai continued. "Bravery,"

Cole screamed as the snake attached itself to his head and clawed at him.

"Integrity,"

He was rolling around on the floor, cracking more eggs as he tried desperately to get the CySnake off his face.

"Grace under pressure,"

He stumbled around randomly, releasing tons of baby snakes from their eggs. He accidentally stumbled right into an escape pod.

"And above all, dignity."

Cole shrieked like a little girl as he sat down heavily in the escape pod, flailing as he tried to pull the CySnake off his face. A harness snapped on over him and the doors closed. A voice announced "Escape pod activated."

The pod's engines fired up, the entire game rumbled, and Cole and the baby snake went rocketing away, smashing into each other. "Get it off me!"

Kai stood up, brushing himself off. He looked up at Cole barreling down towards them and gasped. "Incoming!"

He and the majority of the samurai dove to the ground and covered up. Nya and Jay were too busy staring at each other and looked up a few seconds later.

Time seemed to slow down as the pod nearly ran over Nya and Jay. They stared in at Cole and the Cysnake. Cole and the Cysnake stopped their fight for a second and stared out at them.

Then things sped up again. The escape pod flew out the game's door. The samurai picked themselves up and stared after it.

"CySnake," Nya breathed.

"Cole!" Jay yelped.

Seconds later, the pod blasted into the terminal, spiraling like an out-of-control bottle rocket off the floor and walls. Characters all over the place looked around in terror. Cole tried desperately to pry the snake off of his face. With a loud 'pop!', it let go.

"Yes!" Cole cheered. "Ha ha!"

The CySnake shook itself and promptly doubled in size.

Cole's jaw dropped. "Oh no."

The snake jumped back onto his face as the space pod rocketed into the black tunnel of another game. The darkness suddenly turned pink. Globs of pink goo stuck to the window and blocked the ways.

An announcer's voice stated calmly "Engine Failure. Engine Failure."

Cole screamed through the snake as the pod bounced wildly through a candy-coated country before crash-landing and skidding to a stop at the edge of a cliff. He slammed forward onto the dashboard and something beeped. Cole managed to pry the CySnake off of him long enough to get a quick glance at the dash. The eject symbol was blinking red.

"That's bad," he observed a moment before he and the snake were catapulted out of the ship and through the air into a thick forest. "Whoaaaaaa!"

Cole managed to grab the top of a tree and hold on, stopping his flight.

The CySnake continued on and slammed heavily into a nearby tree with a sickening crunch. It fell into a green pool and sunk limply, bubbling.

Cole laughed, exhilarated by relief. "So long, sucker!"

He tried to wave jauntily but his hand couldn't quite separate from the tree trunk. Cole looked at it. The 'tree' was actually a giant, sticky candy cane.

He carefully pulled his hand away and turned around slowly, seeing for the first time where he had ended up. Cole gasped.


End file.
